samedi, avril 10, 2004

d

M | 4/10/2004 05:56:00 PM| comment

***
I don't know what your problem is, you fucker that keeps following me around. You stand nothing to gain from going to all my blogs other than pissing me off. And if that's really all you're seeking to do, I sincerely pity you because that's really pathetic. You don't even know who I am, you don't have any reputable reason to do this. Go to hell.

(PS: Sorry to Isaiah, I know for a fact that it's not you.)

M | 4/10/2004 03:39:00 PM| comment

***

mardi, février 17, 2004

I officially have a new blog. Well, not so much "new" as in "cleaned out the innapropriate, offensive entries so it may be usable again." I will be individually distrubuting this URL, so if you do NOT recieve it from me directly, then consider the person who gave it to you untrustworthy. If you do not recieve the URL from me at all, consider yourself untrustworthy.

Bah.

Eat that.

M | 2/17/2004 07:21:00 PM| comment

***
< rant >

All right, this is what I'm sick of, because I feel I need to get this out of my system because it has been driving me mad.

I'm sick of this esoteric insistence that I do not exist. You people that read this refuse to speak to me (on IM or real life, take your pick.) with the "clever" excuse that you "don't know what to say." Oh whine, whine. You don't know what to say? ANYTHING! Anything is better than NOTHING!

And stop making me feel like I'm a mere "convenience." I rarely get spoken to by you certain people and no, I'm not "whining" or any of that crap and I'm not having "stupid emotions" because that's always your excuse for denying me anything. "Oh, Melissa's expressing some negative thoughts? Must be bi-polar! She must need to be left alone for months on end! Hurry, let's all talk about her now!"

< / rant >

Great, now that I've done the rant first, I can't exactly convey what's GOOD about now, can I? Well, gee.

At least I've got some packages on the way.

*sigh*

M | 2/17/2004 09:14:00 AM| comment

***

lundi, février 16, 2004

Done and . . .done.

M | 2/16/2004 03:46:00 AM| comment

***
Okay, Isaiah, you need to fucking stop posting on my tagboard. Yes, I should "delete it" but that would just mean that you were the victor, eh? You may have Stacy and all your other little underlings believing that you are not the "poster of mystery" but I know otherwise. I'm not as easily duped by your horrific, malicious lies. Besides, what is lying accomplishing?

Oh, wait . . . I know the answer to that.

M | 2/16/2004 03:34:00 AM| comment

***
Did you know that there are many disgusting noises to be made just with the human eyelid?

I'm so bored.

M | 2/16/2004 03:30:00 AM| comment

***

dimanche, février 15, 2004

Heh. These three guys are reading three copies of the exact same book. The first one says "Mine's about a bunny!" The second says "Mine's about a rooster!" The third says, "Guys, I have cancer." And they all groan sympathetically. It was a little movie clip I just watched. It was funny.

Of course, what I find funny and what other people find funny are largely different.

Plus, I hate people who blatantly lie. I know the truth and you're not only lying to me, but you're lying to yourself. I think you actually believe yourself. Isn't that funny? Tell a lie often and "convincingly" enough, you start to believe it! I'm not fooled, and I doubt many other people are either. If you're not hurt by this lie already, you will be! It's gonna wreck you.

M | 2/15/2004 09:53:00 PM| comment

***
Much work to do . . .

M | 2/15/2004 04:30:00 PM| comment

***
So . . . killing time until a certain door is shut and I can safely walk down the hall to the bathroom so that I may take a shower . . .

M | 2/15/2004 02:05:00 PM| comment

***
Well, today was filled with glorious quotes, many of them unfit to print. But here's a few safe ones of the lot:

"Barbie and Ken broke up? Next thing you know, they'll announce that Mr and Mrs Potatohead had a falling out and Mr Potatohead's penis was replaced with his nose!" (Me)

Um, actually that's all I can remember right now. Just one. Go fig.

Ordered four books from Amazon, but at different times, so i gotta combine to save on shipping, but the site is DOWN! Goddammit. Getting very pissed off right now because they keep claiming it will "be available in a few minutes" but it's been an HOUR!

M | 2/15/2004 02:29:00 AM| comment

***

samedi, février 14, 2004

With much effort, my tetrahedron origami piece is complete and looking good.

At around 3:30 AM, my room was visited. It was Maya! I received a small bag of chocolate and a little card with a very cute and meaningful message. (The message means quite a lot to me - she said some very kind things.) She said that in Japan, it is the tradition for girls to give candy to their girl friends and to the boys they like. It's fun to learn about little things like that!

So with that note, I should probably go to sleep.

M | 2/14/2004 05:03:00 AM| comment

***
I am severely disturbed by many things. First thing is this - I realized just how difficult it is for me to trust any one person - made even more so by recent fallings out. Two seemingly minor things occurred today (yesterday, technically) that made me realize that people regard me as a bit of a joke. Go figure.

It being Valentine's Day (today, I mean, but I did this yesterday, which seems like today because this is early morning) I was forced to reflect on many past boyfriend issues . . . I guess I get a bit frightened when people actually care and that's what happened with Casey. He was such a great guy, very sweet to me. On the night of my comedy debut, he took me to a great restaurant that overlooked our town - it was candlelit and everything. On another occasion, he showed up at my house with a dozen roses, just saying, "I never bought you flowers, so here you go!" Many of our dates consisted just of sitting around playing video games or a movie, but he always made me feel worth it. This is why the relationship ended as it did . . . I'm ill-equipped to deal with someone showing me these feelings. It startled me so much that I began to retreat, basically avoiding him. I feel absolutely terrible about it and wish I could tell him this, but it would seem a bit like me grasping at the past. *le sigh*

My brief stint with Randy was nothing to boast about. A nice enough guy - willing to dash around the Mall of America with me, playing with toys in the toy store . . . but it wasn't great.

And prom boy . . . Ha ha ha, nothing beats standing in the rain with him, staring at his shocked face and saying, "What the fuck is your problem?" and slapping him. God, how I resent time wasted on that moron . . . I also clearly remember the ride home from prom - with his emotionless face on the road and foot steadily pushing the gas pedal closer to the floor. I sat in the passenger seat, eyes wide and staring as the darkness slipped rapidly past and the headlights disappeared in the back end of the car in front of us and I seriously considered forcing him to stop the car and threatening to walk home. I was absolutely fearful that night, especially after the atrocities he committed. Carl, if you read this -thank god you were there on prom night and very, very comforting. Between you and Yoko, I didn't "do anything stupid" if you get my drift.

Sorry about my too many speculations. I'm not too affected by my "unattachedness" at the moment - it currently is no big deal. As I've said in the past, if I found the perfect person today, it would leave the rest of my life as a very boring rerun.

Plus, there's, ah, yeah . . . . :::grin:::

M | 2/14/2004 02:43:00 AM| comment

***
I love Korea!

M | 2/14/2004 12:08:00 AM| comment

***

vendredi, février 13, 2004

At least my story is a success: http://www.fictionpress.com/read.php?storyid=1524170 Three reviews already! (And please, don't read anything else on my collection . . . it's not great writing. It's very old and kind of stupid. Well, "Only Your Heart Can Guide You" is okay, and so is "Used" but other than those, it's basically crap.)

Meh. I feel lousy because of . . . well . . . it's complicated. I'm more ambivalent than I used to be, and it surprises me the way I think about things every once in awhile. There's something else, but it shocks me to even think of it, so I can't say unless I'm sure . . . but I'm almost sure.

Oh my GOD.

M | 2/13/2004 10:33:00 PM| comment

***
It's Quote-ish time!

"I'm an Elementary Education Major! Because I'm sensitive . . . or a pedophile." (Mick)

Rich: "There's just something about Asian boys that make them adorable."
Me: *nods emphatically*

Mick: "blah blah blah (some politcal stuff)"
Me: "So Katie, how's your spleen?"

"So what would you do if there was a guy and he really liked you and wanted to date you and you found out it was really a girl? I would probably date him." (Maya - she's so weird! >^-^<)

Various quotes from my presentation about South Korea: (all said in front of the class)
"Honestly, I don't want to have a haircut from my teacher."
"Can anyone guess what the number one movie around the world is, currently? Here's a hint: it starts with 'Lord' and ends with 'Rings.'"
"Well, because George dubyah Bush presumed North Korea had nukular weapons (pause) that's 'nuclear' in layman's terms."
"Well, the first time I ever tried to pronounce the Korean language was today . . . right now . . . in front of this class of fifty people. I did okay, right?"

"Other people's spit tastes so strange!" (Rachel)

And the funny anecdotage:

Teaching Maya the importance of pronouncing "election" correctly. The Japan Club is currently having elections for presidency (go Akko!) and the Japanese accent sometimes makes an "l" sound like an "r." This makes for much hilarity. And they sometimes spell things like that too. I'm hoping they don't put up posters around campus . . .

Teaching Yoshi to say the word "full" which he kept saying really strangely. (It sounded like he was saying "I'm a girl." I don't know.)

This all happened on Tuesday. TODAY, however, was quite the day for hilarious anecdotage. I'll sum up this story quickly. Maya and Akko's friend, Nina, was on the elevator and heard this story from this guy: "My roommate is Japanese and his name is Tomo and I think he's gay. He has a boyfriend named Yoshi." Nina then relayed this story to Akko, who told it to both Maya and Yoshi. Hilarity then ensued. Maya had a difficult time telling me this without laughing.

Mmm, what else happened lately that's funny/interesting but not angsty and something people will get mad at me for . . . ?

Not much more. I do enjoy this quotes and stories though. Especially the Tomo and Yoshi story. And the various things Mick said. And my presentation on SK. Actually the whole of this entry is quite chuckle-worthy.

Heh-fricken-heh.

M | 2/13/2004 03:59:00 AM| comment

***

jeudi, février 12, 2004

Holy shit, I just cannot get over that dream. It's so poignant and makes me seriously wonder about everything.

Especially one very key thing. Remember the part about how all my closest friends were ignoring me - the more important they are to me, the less they spoke to me, the less they recognized me? And how the people on the stairs are all the indifferent people in my life and the kindest, nicest ones were the ones I care least about?

All of "them" were on the stairs . . .

My life has been reduced to 3rd Maria people and Stair People. It's going to become a metaphor for my entire life now. Classifying people . . . are you a 3M or SP? And I'll wonder. How will you die? Will it be timed, will you know the moment? Or will you ignore me, and die in a violent act of duty? Or will you be the rarity who reaches me in a way I never expected (like I never knew I was affected by this kid I knew when I was about 8 years old)? How will my life be configured by this dream?

I love my tattoo more than ever. Yume . . .

I'm going to convert this dream into a story and then everyone can truly understand it . . . if they want to.

M | 2/12/2004 01:28:00 AM| comment

***
Isaiah, why the FUCK do you read my journal. You have absolutely NO RIGHT. You don't care at all, you just do it to spite me. Well, congratulations, you little fucktard, it worked! Are you proud, are you happy, do you GET OFF on it? And don't kid yourself by posting as "anomynous" because you aren't . . . I have my own little ways of knowing if you visit. (Plus, you can't even spell worth a fuck - anonymous - get it right, asshole.) And don't go marauding around, claiming I have no life because what do YOU have to claim? A little pathetic relationship that will obviously go nowhere? Oh, lot of future there, a big life there. Mr. Drastic Failure. Mr. College Dropout. Mr. I Work At Temp Agencies. Where's YOUR life? What's the big promise in that? Don't ever accuse me of having no life because you have nothing to boast of yourself, you hypocritical moronic waste of a human life.

M | 2/12/2004 12:55:00 AM| comment

***
Oh, I nearly forgot. (Everyone else DID completely forget.)

Happy half birthday to me . . .

Summer birthdays suck. No one will remember when my birthday is. No one will care.

Goddammit, that's how I live my life . . . without a care. Fuck you, everyone who thinks I'm angsty. FUCK. YOU.

M | 2/12/2004 12:50:00 AM| comment

***