vendredi, octobre 31, 2003

The prose reading today went decently, I suppose. I read "Roku Shooki" and it seemed to have mild success, but who can tell these days?

A lot of my friends came too. The reason behind my wanting them to come is that I wanted them to realize I'm not stupid. Sometimes I get the impression that everyone thinks of me as some dumb blond - several of them treat me like a child and I don't like this much. So I guess I really wanted to prove to some of them that I have a brain in my head. Oh well. You can't have respect everywhere.

M | 10/31/2003 12:30:00 AM| comment

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jeudi, octobre 30, 2003

Somebody does something that drives me nuts. I can't stand it so much, that I find myself not wanting to be near this person. Things are odd. But why does this happen? I'll never understand certain things, and why some people keep on the course they travel, not knowing how it affects others. Sometimes I wonder why the way I feel about this isn't so blatantly obvious, but I don't know . . . We'll see . . .

M | 10/30/2003 05:15:00 PM| comment

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Today, I have only showered. The day is young. I will write about yesterday, because that was an absolutely fascinating day.

I skipped English, but only because I fell asleep. I was sooooooo tired . . .

There was a kanji quiz in Japanese that I'm not too confident about. Oh well, I'll get over it.

I bought a bunch of stuff for Yoko, including macaroni and cheese, Oreos, and Scooby fruit snacks. Now that's a classic American food bundle, eh? If only I could put hot dogs in there.

I have this test in Japanese on Monday. Luckily, I have studied muchly. I made Yoshi come over and help me with all those particles and stuff that I don't like. (Because when in doubt, I always put in "o" which rarely makes sense at all.) So I got that learned. I think. Probably not. And then I had to do this "Reply to the Question" thing, which was very interesting. "Do you have any friends?" "No, I do not have friends." "Do you have Japanese class on Sunday?" "Yes, I have Japanese class on Sunday." "Who else is in the class?" "It's just me." "What did you eat when you were a child?" "I ate worms." Ha ha ha. This was most amusing, mostly because I was just kidding around with some of the answers and Yoshi kept insisting that I put them down and hand it in like that. Well, if Sugiyama-sensee thinks I'm insane, I'll just laugh crazily and scream "Zakennayo!" (Not really. I'd probably get detention or whatever punishment they give in college.) Anyway, then Yoshi stole some DVDs and I went to Stacy's room and watched South Park until 1:00 AM.

Twas an interesting day, most certainly. Twas an interesting day.

And now I go dye Stacy's hair! WHOO!

M | 10/30/2003 10:03:00 AM| comment

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mardi, octobre 28, 2003

I didn't check my email this morning. I usually do. I'm trying to wean myself from checking my email eight times a day, like usual, and was expecting to get something like ten messages, but no. Just two. And one was junk. My life is a craphole of worthless things.

It was really frickin cold today. Every single person (and the ones who weren't single) was wearing a jacket except for me. Plus, it rained and I really hated that. Today is one of those days when you just curl up in the warm bed and watch Comedy Central. (Which I did, instead of going to math . . . poor me.)

My computer has a low battery. I've been running it on battery power and it's really low! How long will it last? HOW LONG? I'm such a rebel.

Okay, here goes the part of my post where I can say nice things about my friends. SEE!

Stacy is awesome! (I stole her word . . .) I can trust with virtually anything and not worry about being judged. We see eye-to-eye for the most part. And we're so much alike it gives me nightmares! I already dedicated a whole journal entry to her, so refer back to that.

K (or Kristina, IRL) is pretty much one word: bizarre. She says these off-the-wall things that are hysterical to me (a lot is hysterical to me) and it's always interesting to hang around her. I don't think I've ever known someone quite like her. K is one of those people who, at first, doesn't strike you as the type, but is very intelligent and makes brilliant observations about people. Some things she says just surprise me because they're so . . . dead-on. Plus, she never says anything bad about people besides "You're a failure, you suck, and go somewhere and wank."

Katie is fun! She has this indispensible energy that can be very contagious. She is always bopping around to this psychotic music in her own head. Like me, she has some very odd tastes in music. She is a very perceptive person and can usually pick someone up when they're down. And she says some things sometimes that are very nice, but she doesn't always catch how nice they are. (Meaning that she makes people feel better than she knows.) Plus, she has a very readable face - we can always tell her mood just by looking at her.

Isaiah . . . Okay, here goes. Isaiah is the type of person who's really hard to understand. He is the most perceptive person I have ever known (even more so than Katie). He says some really witty things, especially when he's insulting me. He puts up with a lot, especially because everyone insults him, but lives with it. He tries really hard at things, almost to the point where he drowns himself. I get the feeling that a lot goes on in his mind that he doesn't share with anybody. I really like to hang around him, even though he doesn't stay here much.

Justin, Tyler, and Tim . . . I will get to you guys next time, don't worry.

Yoko is my best friend! But I miss her. Yoko when are you coming back to America? Remember what you always said about Christopher? Ha ha ha. Anyway, about Yoko . . . She is a lot of fun to be around - she's where I learned to laugh about everything. She laughs harder than me at a lot and her laugh is very funny. She's worse than me at Mini-Golf, so it's fun to play. She is always pressuring me to do illegal things (take her driving, buy more fireworks, etc.) and we do it! Yoko is my favorite person to shop with because she spends exactly the amount of time everywhere, when I want to. And she has the funny quirk of paying in exact change. She likes to watch weird movies in English, and anime in Japanese, just so I can see what it's like. She sends me really cute postcards and I love it every time she does! I just wish I'd get more . . . YOKO COME BACK!!!

Well that is all for now. I wrote a lot. EMAIL ME BECAUSE I DON'T GET MAIL! (delyera@hotmail.com)

M | 10/28/2003 10:57:00 PM| comment

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lundi, octobre 27, 2003

My number one pet peeve is this:

Backstabbing.

When you think you can trust someone, and they take the trust and manipulate you with it, virtually strangling you with your own faith, you really lose something. Not only do you lose the trust in that person, but you lose a little trust in all of humanity.

So many times has this been comitted against me, that I hardly trust anyone anymore. I don't know one adult (meaning someone of a different generation) that has my trust at all. Very few of my friends do - I think just one . . . three actually. Three people in the whole world do I trust. And this is just semi-trust . . . because human nature means that we are not perfect.

I one-hundred per cent trust my cats. They can't and won't ever do that to me . . . backstabbing. I've had too much of it. Geez.

M | 10/27/2003 09:49:00 PM| comment

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Eh, it's been a stupid day. Let me start from the beginning.

My alarm clock went off at 7:00. (Technically, six, but I haven't set it back for daylight savings time yet, so it said seven.) I didn't turn it off until 11:00 (when my clock said 12:00) so this meant five hours of pushing the snooze every nine minutes. Is that a waste of time or what? Nine minutes is definitely not enough to reach REM, so I wound up not awake at all.

K's impression of Sugiyama-sensee: "Oh Merisa and Kurisutina ah frends, ha ha ha ha, i don tink so!" (She never lets us be partners and seems to think it's hilarious that we are friends. I don't understand, she is crazy. CRAZY!)

Goddamn, I took off my (emo) glasses and now I see all cross-eyed. It's very wacky.

Gir says: "I DON'T know!"

M | 10/27/2003 05:56:00 PM| comment

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dimanche, octobre 26, 2003

This is my journal entry. This is my journal entry about Stacy.

Stacy is my friend. I am Stacy's friend. We are friends.

Stacy likes music. I like music. We like the same music. We are friends.

Stacy does not play DDR. She thinks it's "insane." I think she is insane. People who do not liek DDR are insane. Stacy is insane.

Stacy lives across the hall and one door down from me. I write funny things on her door. She writes "Asian Boys Welcome" which is true, but she should not write this on my door. K draws penises (penii?) on Stacy's door. Stacy gets mad, but still smiles. I know what Stacy is thinking.

Stacy is a chemistry major. Stacy hates chemistry. This means Stacy is insane. Let us all laugh at insane Stacy.

HA HA HA HA HA!!!

M | 10/26/2003 11:21:00 PM| comment

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Well, have I done anything constructive today?

The answer, of course, is an earth-shattering NO.

Well, no, I did shave today. That could be counted as constructive. And I did laundry. So, in conclusion, I did mildly constructive things, but nothing to boast about.

Stacy is reading my journal and laughing. Goddammit, I'm so funny I almost pee my pants.

I think that Stacy should put a poster on her ceiling. I told her this and she said "No, then it would be too busy." Then I said, "You should put a poster of a ceiling on your ceiling. Then it wouldn't be busy." She thought this was a bizarre and stupid idea, but I was really thinking about the Sistine Chapel. I guess you have to be insane or Isaiah to enjoy that.

Speaking of Isaiah, he dumped water on my head yesterday. This was when I was doped up and he was standing behind me with water and was pretending to dump it on me but I knew he was there, so I swung my arms wildly and it hit him and he dumped the water. What an ass.

PLUS!!! Plusplusplusplusplus . . . Yoshi likes country music. I learned this from Maya and find this hilarious for no reason. I keep thinking of "Whose Line Is It Anyway?" and the Ho-Down. Ha ha ha ha ha.

In conclusion, I am concluding this. Sayoonara.

M | 10/26/2003 11:09:00 PM| comment

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lundi, octobre 20, 2003

Ooh, my computer screen is dirty. I didn't realize how dirty it was until I loaded a page that was primarily dark colors. And did you realize that if you try to wipe a computer screen clean with a Kleenex, it just makes it worse? What kind of idiotic paradox is that?

M | 10/20/2003 07:16:00 PM| comment

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They should put a disclaimer in the sign-up thingy when you register for a blog. "This thing is highly addictive and at no time should you think your thoughts really matter to the world." Heh. Plus, it is addicting. I am sitting here, letting my ass fall numb due to pure boredom. I type and type in my blog, being hopelessly ambiguous about some things, bluntly obvious about others - because I do know some people read this occasionally. I just can't fall into the habit of writing EVERYTHING I THINK ABOUT! My friends are very impressionable, and I wouldn't want to scar their fragile minds.

Doo de doo.

I started writing a story yesterday that had potential for awesomeness but it pretty much met a gruesome and untimely death on the creation block. Ain't that fantastic? Get all excited about a fresh new idea and it commits suicide before you can guide it through infancy. Goddamn, I hate that.

People are officially staring at me. It must be because I'm sitting all alone at my computer and laughing at something no one else can hear! I'm psychotic and they all know it! WAH HA HA HA HA!

M | 10/20/2003 11:42:00 AM| comment

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Sometimes I sits and thinks and sometimes I just sits.

Really.

Hotmail is "too busy" to accommodate my mail-checking desire, so I'm forced to not check my mail. Damn then and the corporate system that drives our lives . . . everyone check your email Monday morning so Melissa can't!!! RAAGGH!

M | 10/20/2003 11:29:00 AM| comment

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Heh heh. I might be existential again. BEWARRRRRE!

I had a very interesting conversation with Isaiah on IM. Stacy and I collaborated in the plan "Harass Isaiah" and it went down successful. In conclusion, Isaiah drinks a lot of coffee and "jitters" (i.e. he wanks) before going to sleep. Plus, he apparently only makes fun of me, and this does not make me happy because everyone else should have a piece of this shit-pie. Isaiah is stupid!! I will conclude this topic with a quote by me to K in an IM conversation. "He goes home for the weekend. I think it's just an excuse so he can pull into rest stops and ASSociate with the people there." Fin.

Also, I did do laundry. (Applause for me!)

Still pissed at the family.

I am reading Battle Royale and that's not exactly the book I should have been reading this evening. I was studying with Yoshi and he apparently got up and I didn't see this and when he came back it almost scared the shit out of me. (For those of you who do not know, Battle Royale is about a bunch of Japanese middle schoolers who have to kill each other. Rent the movie, summaries exhaust me.) So here I am, reading and having this expression of "so that's what brains look like when you're shot in the skull with a PPK . . ." and this Japanese guy starts walking toward me. Needless to say, I put the book down and had one of the "shifty eye" moments . . . Luckily, Yoshi does not know just how much he frightened me, just by walking towards me. Creepiness.

Oh, I am almost out of glue, but the Post-it Note collection remains strong. I do have tape, lots of it, so I think I can make it through the week, but then I'll have to make a Kmart trip.

Dude.


M | 10/20/2003 02:03:00 AM| comment

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dimanche, octobre 19, 2003

So, ah, yeah.

Early this morning, upon discovering my family had left the town without saying goodbye, I was blamed for it. "You were the one who left, you were the one who refused the money." Oh blah blah blah. Pin it on me to throw away the blame. My family is so full of crap.

I am checking on how much it is to stay here over Thanksgiving break. That would be insanely boring though. Hmm, insanity through boredom, or insanity through family? I know what I pick.

I could just go home with a friend though. (Waves at Stacy.) Even if I do go home during Thanksgiving, I will go to her house more than once!!

On a different note all together, today is Sunday and my homework is officially done. Well, technically I have to write a thesis for English, but how frickin hard can that be? I can stay on campus after Asstronomy tomorrow and finish up super fast between classes. (Double English tomorrow, kill me now.) My Japanese homework is done and reviewed (Doomo arigatoo, Yoshi-san!) and do not have homework for any other class.

I think one of the best feelings in the world is knowing that you have no obligations. Homework done, room clean, nighttime approaches . . .

Of course, I have just remembered I have to do laundry. Perfect timing.

M | 10/19/2003 10:50:00 PM| comment

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I at least wanted some money.

M | 10/19/2003 12:08:00 PM| comment

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Goddamn. (This is my new phrase lately.)

As much as I despise my family, I hate them even more now. Is that possible?

The answer, of course, is yes. Yes I can.

They stay the weekend, of course. Last night we were supposed to go to a movie and halfway there I said, "I don't know if I'm in the mood to go to a movie." Well I wasn't. I would've gone anyway, it was merely an offhand comment, meaning almost nothing. Yet I was brought back to my dorm anyway.

Well, happiness ensues.

I did my homework last night - working for a few hours, sleeping a few hours - turned out to be an effective tactic. I expected at any minute to hear a knock on my door or my phone ring and they would be there.

Nope.

I just talked online with my brother. They went home.

No last visit to say goodbye.

No phone call.

Nothing.

Fuck.

M | 10/19/2003 12:02:00 PM| comment

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samedi, octobre 18, 2003

Dammit, I hate the world. Fuck everyone. I'm going to sleep until I die.

M | 10/18/2003 07:20:00 PM| comment

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Guess what . . . locked myself out of my room today.

Ain't that terrific?

I went to see "Kill Bill" and after the movie - when I was still in that "god, that was a great movie, I wish I was her, she fights like a fiend" state of mind, I realized "Goddamn, I do not have my keys." Thus, causing a great panic involving me searching the movie theater carefully, checking through Stacy's car, and otherwise having a conniption.

I arrive back at my dorm and try Shot in the Dark #1: Maybe I left the door unlocked.

Nope. It's locked.

I try Shot in the Dark #2: The Card Thing They Do In Movies

That didn't work either.

I try Shot in the Dark #3: Pay a buck to have an RA unlock the door. Well shoot. The RA on third floor (my floor) was not there. I checked fourth floor - no such luck. I checked second floor - no such luck. I checked first floor - luck! So the first floor RA unlocked my door for me. And there were my keys, sitting hopelessly on my desk next to my computer - probably laughing at me inside their psychotic little key minds.

Lesson learned: When leaving my room at ANYTIME - no matter if I think the door is locked or unlocked - I MUST bring my keys. NO. MATTER. WHAT.

Because the card thing does not work.

Fuck.

M | 10/18/2003 04:50:00 PM| comment

***
I knew having my family visit me in college would be a pain, but GODDAMN! Seriously, though, why do I deserve such a family? I have Timmy complaining about being there and not having something to do. My dad whining about the practicality of everything I need to buy. ("Yes, I really, really do need the tampons . . .") My mother sighing and saying, "No, I'm not mad that you have plans." (When she clearly is.) Christopher being more of a loser than I remember and heartily embarassing me in front of everyone. Brian was the only one that I was really glad to see. He was properly aloof to my friends (too much friendliness would be weird) and knew when he should take a shower. And he brought pajamas and cleaned up after himself. Goddamn. My family is nutty as hell, and it's not the good kind, because I happen to like Peanut M&M's and my family is not like those.

On the extremely desperate note of trying to find a positive in this metaphorical pile of shit, I got some new clothes and much soap and things from Target. Heh. My good thing is soap. Go soap!!

M | 10/18/2003 11:57:00 AM| comment

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vendredi, octobre 17, 2003

Okay, um, it seems to be the fad to had a web log, web journal, web diary, and all that spectacular funk. Well, since I'm a "follower" and not a "leader" I will jump on the proverbial bandwagon and ride, baby, ride. Yeah. I like the view from here.

Perhaps the most interesting thing to happen to me all day was the sudden realization that people generally try to do what they think is right.

"Wait," you say. "Hold on. That's not true. What a bunch of bull. You're just being existential and I hate your freaking guts for it." Oh yeah, person reading my diary? You can just shove it, because this is my thought and not yours, so butt out. That's what I think is right.

What I mean by that statement is this:

Everyone wanders around their lives like children in a funhouse who've lost the comforting grip of their parents' hands. Once the grip slips, you're lost and basically feeling blindly in the dark. This is pretty much the summary of college life and since you're thrust into this grand old world with a friendly pat on the ass and a few grubby pennies, you have no choice but to raise your chin and do it.

The idea behind this is that you go into the world with what you've got and make the best of it. Since everyone is stuck in the same funhouse with you, you might as well group together. Everyone is stuck in the same damn position, and while you're there, make it fun. You generally don't want to make it hard for other people, because they, in turn will make it hard for you. This brings me back to my original point: people are generally good.

Yep.

I think that's true. At least on my good days.

Other days, I hate you all.

M | 10/17/2003 02:26:00 AM| comment

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Do de do de do. This has been a TEST!

M | 10/17/2003 02:25:00 AM| comment

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