mardi, février 17, 2004

I officially have a new blog. Well, not so much "new" as in "cleaned out the innapropriate, offensive entries so it may be usable again." I will be individually distrubuting this URL, so if you do NOT recieve it from me directly, then consider the person who gave it to you untrustworthy. If you do not recieve the URL from me at all, consider yourself untrustworthy.

Bah.

Eat that.

M | 2/17/2004 07:21:00 PM| comment

***
< rant >

All right, this is what I'm sick of, because I feel I need to get this out of my system because it has been driving me mad.

I'm sick of this esoteric insistence that I do not exist. You people that read this refuse to speak to me (on IM or real life, take your pick.) with the "clever" excuse that you "don't know what to say." Oh whine, whine. You don't know what to say? ANYTHING! Anything is better than NOTHING!

And stop making me feel like I'm a mere "convenience." I rarely get spoken to by you certain people and no, I'm not "whining" or any of that crap and I'm not having "stupid emotions" because that's always your excuse for denying me anything. "Oh, Melissa's expressing some negative thoughts? Must be bi-polar! She must need to be left alone for months on end! Hurry, let's all talk about her now!"

< / rant >

Great, now that I've done the rant first, I can't exactly convey what's GOOD about now, can I? Well, gee.

At least I've got some packages on the way.

*sigh*

M | 2/17/2004 09:14:00 AM| comment

***

lundi, février 16, 2004

Done and . . .done.

M | 2/16/2004 03:46:00 AM| comment

***
Okay, Isaiah, you need to fucking stop posting on my tagboard. Yes, I should "delete it" but that would just mean that you were the victor, eh? You may have Stacy and all your other little underlings believing that you are not the "poster of mystery" but I know otherwise. I'm not as easily duped by your horrific, malicious lies. Besides, what is lying accomplishing?

Oh, wait . . . I know the answer to that.

M | 2/16/2004 03:34:00 AM| comment

***
Did you know that there are many disgusting noises to be made just with the human eyelid?

I'm so bored.

M | 2/16/2004 03:30:00 AM| comment

***

dimanche, février 15, 2004

Heh. These three guys are reading three copies of the exact same book. The first one says "Mine's about a bunny!" The second says "Mine's about a rooster!" The third says, "Guys, I have cancer." And they all groan sympathetically. It was a little movie clip I just watched. It was funny.

Of course, what I find funny and what other people find funny are largely different.

Plus, I hate people who blatantly lie. I know the truth and you're not only lying to me, but you're lying to yourself. I think you actually believe yourself. Isn't that funny? Tell a lie often and "convincingly" enough, you start to believe it! I'm not fooled, and I doubt many other people are either. If you're not hurt by this lie already, you will be! It's gonna wreck you.

M | 2/15/2004 09:53:00 PM| comment

***
Much work to do . . .

M | 2/15/2004 04:30:00 PM| comment

***
So . . . killing time until a certain door is shut and I can safely walk down the hall to the bathroom so that I may take a shower . . .

M | 2/15/2004 02:05:00 PM| comment

***
Well, today was filled with glorious quotes, many of them unfit to print. But here's a few safe ones of the lot:

"Barbie and Ken broke up? Next thing you know, they'll announce that Mr and Mrs Potatohead had a falling out and Mr Potatohead's penis was replaced with his nose!" (Me)

Um, actually that's all I can remember right now. Just one. Go fig.

Ordered four books from Amazon, but at different times, so i gotta combine to save on shipping, but the site is DOWN! Goddammit. Getting very pissed off right now because they keep claiming it will "be available in a few minutes" but it's been an HOUR!

M | 2/15/2004 02:29:00 AM| comment

***

samedi, février 14, 2004

With much effort, my tetrahedron origami piece is complete and looking good.

At around 3:30 AM, my room was visited. It was Maya! I received a small bag of chocolate and a little card with a very cute and meaningful message. (The message means quite a lot to me - she said some very kind things.) She said that in Japan, it is the tradition for girls to give candy to their girl friends and to the boys they like. It's fun to learn about little things like that!

So with that note, I should probably go to sleep.

M | 2/14/2004 05:03:00 AM| comment

***
I am severely disturbed by many things. First thing is this - I realized just how difficult it is for me to trust any one person - made even more so by recent fallings out. Two seemingly minor things occurred today (yesterday, technically) that made me realize that people regard me as a bit of a joke. Go figure.

It being Valentine's Day (today, I mean, but I did this yesterday, which seems like today because this is early morning) I was forced to reflect on many past boyfriend issues . . . I guess I get a bit frightened when people actually care and that's what happened with Casey. He was such a great guy, very sweet to me. On the night of my comedy debut, he took me to a great restaurant that overlooked our town - it was candlelit and everything. On another occasion, he showed up at my house with a dozen roses, just saying, "I never bought you flowers, so here you go!" Many of our dates consisted just of sitting around playing video games or a movie, but he always made me feel worth it. This is why the relationship ended as it did . . . I'm ill-equipped to deal with someone showing me these feelings. It startled me so much that I began to retreat, basically avoiding him. I feel absolutely terrible about it and wish I could tell him this, but it would seem a bit like me grasping at the past. *le sigh*

My brief stint with Randy was nothing to boast about. A nice enough guy - willing to dash around the Mall of America with me, playing with toys in the toy store . . . but it wasn't great.

And prom boy . . . Ha ha ha, nothing beats standing in the rain with him, staring at his shocked face and saying, "What the fuck is your problem?" and slapping him. God, how I resent time wasted on that moron . . . I also clearly remember the ride home from prom - with his emotionless face on the road and foot steadily pushing the gas pedal closer to the floor. I sat in the passenger seat, eyes wide and staring as the darkness slipped rapidly past and the headlights disappeared in the back end of the car in front of us and I seriously considered forcing him to stop the car and threatening to walk home. I was absolutely fearful that night, especially after the atrocities he committed. Carl, if you read this -thank god you were there on prom night and very, very comforting. Between you and Yoko, I didn't "do anything stupid" if you get my drift.

Sorry about my too many speculations. I'm not too affected by my "unattachedness" at the moment - it currently is no big deal. As I've said in the past, if I found the perfect person today, it would leave the rest of my life as a very boring rerun.

Plus, there's, ah, yeah . . . . :::grin:::

M | 2/14/2004 02:43:00 AM| comment

***
I love Korea!

M | 2/14/2004 12:08:00 AM| comment

***

vendredi, février 13, 2004

At least my story is a success: http://www.fictionpress.com/read.php?storyid=1524170 Three reviews already! (And please, don't read anything else on my collection . . . it's not great writing. It's very old and kind of stupid. Well, "Only Your Heart Can Guide You" is okay, and so is "Used" but other than those, it's basically crap.)

Meh. I feel lousy because of . . . well . . . it's complicated. I'm more ambivalent than I used to be, and it surprises me the way I think about things every once in awhile. There's something else, but it shocks me to even think of it, so I can't say unless I'm sure . . . but I'm almost sure.

Oh my GOD.

M | 2/13/2004 10:33:00 PM| comment

***
It's Quote-ish time!

"I'm an Elementary Education Major! Because I'm sensitive . . . or a pedophile." (Mick)

Rich: "There's just something about Asian boys that make them adorable."
Me: *nods emphatically*

Mick: "blah blah blah (some politcal stuff)"
Me: "So Katie, how's your spleen?"

"So what would you do if there was a guy and he really liked you and wanted to date you and you found out it was really a girl? I would probably date him." (Maya - she's so weird! >^-^<)

Various quotes from my presentation about South Korea: (all said in front of the class)
"Honestly, I don't want to have a haircut from my teacher."
"Can anyone guess what the number one movie around the world is, currently? Here's a hint: it starts with 'Lord' and ends with 'Rings.'"
"Well, because George dubyah Bush presumed North Korea had nukular weapons (pause) that's 'nuclear' in layman's terms."
"Well, the first time I ever tried to pronounce the Korean language was today . . . right now . . . in front of this class of fifty people. I did okay, right?"

"Other people's spit tastes so strange!" (Rachel)

And the funny anecdotage:

Teaching Maya the importance of pronouncing "election" correctly. The Japan Club is currently having elections for presidency (go Akko!) and the Japanese accent sometimes makes an "l" sound like an "r." This makes for much hilarity. And they sometimes spell things like that too. I'm hoping they don't put up posters around campus . . .

Teaching Yoshi to say the word "full" which he kept saying really strangely. (It sounded like he was saying "I'm a girl." I don't know.)

This all happened on Tuesday. TODAY, however, was quite the day for hilarious anecdotage. I'll sum up this story quickly. Maya and Akko's friend, Nina, was on the elevator and heard this story from this guy: "My roommate is Japanese and his name is Tomo and I think he's gay. He has a boyfriend named Yoshi." Nina then relayed this story to Akko, who told it to both Maya and Yoshi. Hilarity then ensued. Maya had a difficult time telling me this without laughing.

Mmm, what else happened lately that's funny/interesting but not angsty and something people will get mad at me for . . . ?

Not much more. I do enjoy this quotes and stories though. Especially the Tomo and Yoshi story. And the various things Mick said. And my presentation on SK. Actually the whole of this entry is quite chuckle-worthy.

Heh-fricken-heh.

M | 2/13/2004 03:59:00 AM| comment

***

jeudi, février 12, 2004

Holy shit, I just cannot get over that dream. It's so poignant and makes me seriously wonder about everything.

Especially one very key thing. Remember the part about how all my closest friends were ignoring me - the more important they are to me, the less they spoke to me, the less they recognized me? And how the people on the stairs are all the indifferent people in my life and the kindest, nicest ones were the ones I care least about?

All of "them" were on the stairs . . .

My life has been reduced to 3rd Maria people and Stair People. It's going to become a metaphor for my entire life now. Classifying people . . . are you a 3M or SP? And I'll wonder. How will you die? Will it be timed, will you know the moment? Or will you ignore me, and die in a violent act of duty? Or will you be the rarity who reaches me in a way I never expected (like I never knew I was affected by this kid I knew when I was about 8 years old)? How will my life be configured by this dream?

I love my tattoo more than ever. Yume . . .

I'm going to convert this dream into a story and then everyone can truly understand it . . . if they want to.

M | 2/12/2004 01:28:00 AM| comment

***
Isaiah, why the FUCK do you read my journal. You have absolutely NO RIGHT. You don't care at all, you just do it to spite me. Well, congratulations, you little fucktard, it worked! Are you proud, are you happy, do you GET OFF on it? And don't kid yourself by posting as "anomynous" because you aren't . . . I have my own little ways of knowing if you visit. (Plus, you can't even spell worth a fuck - anonymous - get it right, asshole.) And don't go marauding around, claiming I have no life because what do YOU have to claim? A little pathetic relationship that will obviously go nowhere? Oh, lot of future there, a big life there. Mr. Drastic Failure. Mr. College Dropout. Mr. I Work At Temp Agencies. Where's YOUR life? What's the big promise in that? Don't ever accuse me of having no life because you have nothing to boast of yourself, you hypocritical moronic waste of a human life.

M | 2/12/2004 12:55:00 AM| comment

***
Oh, I nearly forgot. (Everyone else DID completely forget.)

Happy half birthday to me . . .

Summer birthdays suck. No one will remember when my birthday is. No one will care.

Goddammit, that's how I live my life . . . without a care. Fuck you, everyone who thinks I'm angsty. FUCK. YOU.

M | 2/12/2004 12:50:00 AM| comment

***

mercredi, février 11, 2004

There's nothing more . . . uh, uncomfortable than wandering your happy little way into the bathroom and seeing two people MAKING OUT! Naturally, you can't just go in there and have a pee, because they'll get all uncomfortable, sucking face while someone's pissing. But it also looks a little funny when you just turn tail and run, giggling the whole time, which is what I did. Basically, you have to choose your mortification.

M | 2/11/2004 10:39:00 PM| comment

***
*sings*

I am full of hatred
Yes I am!
I am full of misery
Yes I am!
I am full of distrust
Yes I am!
I am full of abnormalities!!

What?

Yes I am!

What?

Yes I am!
YEP!

*end short, disturbing song with clowns*

M | 2/11/2004 09:06:00 PM| comment

***
I had the strangest dreams last night. This is number one on the "weird" list. Strange thing is, they all seemed so real I woke up wondering if it had happened.

First of all, my family came to visit and so did Yoko. In fact, everyone who's ever been important to me was here. And they all stayed on 3rd Maria. 3rd Maria was a bit different than usual; the room on the end was this massively luxurious room - complete with two bedrooms with king-sized beds and a full master bath and there were two identical classrooms on the floor. My parents stayed in the luxurious room and everyone else stayed in other rooms on the floor. I was in my own room and my brothers were in the room next to me. Yoko and her family were across from me and all the rest of my friends and family were down the hall.

Funny thing is, my family seemed closer to me than before and none of my friends seemed to know me. The more I cared about them, the less they knew about me. I would approach Yoko and say hello and she would reply with, "Nande?" and then talk to her mom and run away.

This is where it gets really odd. All the members of my family came down with this strange disease. It was like a timer that let you know immediately when you'd die. Timmy walked up to me and told me, "It won't be long now, Melissa. Stay with me." So I sat down and held him and he died. This happened with every one of my brothers until it was just my parents and other family members left and then they all died at the exact same moment.

That happened over the course of a day or so. During that day, I had also attended a meeting in one of the classrooms on the floor which all of my friends were called to as well. We were supposed to carry out this mission - I don't remember to what. But people kept on dying. Everyone was going.

During this dream, I remember specifically questioning if it was real or not. I had been standing in between the two classrooms, screaming "THIS IS NOT REAL! REALITY DOESN'T FORCE EVERYONE AROUND ME TO CONVENIENTLY DIE ALL AT ONCE!" Then, in a state of hysteria, I had run into the other classroom where the very last person I expected to be comforting was attending class . . .

The teacher said, "Oh good, another student. Make yourself comfortable."

Comfortable? I wasn't going to be comfortable. Not in this situation! I saw this person (who was someone I was fairly good friends with in elementary school, but has gone down the "dangerous path" and I do suspect he's dead) and ran furiously towards him. The teacher said, "Oh good, you have a friend in this class," but I ignored the teacher.

I said to my friend, "Everyone is dying! Everyone is going or already gone! I just have two friends who are left to die, but they don't care about me at all! My very best friends are going to die but won't look me in the face - they treat me awfully! My family members know about their deaths and request my presence at them! What is going on? Why is this happening? How come it's me? Why am I suffering?"

After this barrage of emotional questions, my friend just stared at me and hugged me until I stopped crying. It was very helpful and I then wandered off up the stairs.

The stairs were packed with people returning from assessment day and I then realized that, because it was assessment day and people were normal, everything had really happened with no explanation.

And then I woke up. I sat up straight, covered in sweat and panicking like nothing ever. The girl next door was playing loud music and my AIM was beeping and I realized that no one had died, that my closest friends still spoke to me.

But I can't help but wonder what it all meant. Something about the closeness of family and distancing of friends. Something about old friends being the best of all. Something about how there was just me in a reality that was too . . . REAL to be fake. And why was everyone dying?

M | 2/11/2004 02:01:00 PM| comment

***
I think I'm allowed to have a bit of angst every now and then, right? Is that okay? Is that okay, everyone who thinks I shouldn't have emotions? Is that okay, people who think I read too much into myself? Is that okay, everyone who doesn't understand themself so when other people make attempts to understand themselves, they yell at them? Is that okay?



I am pissed off at the general population. Basically, the American mentality. People are so damn focused on a "me, me, me" thought process. The thing of "caring?" That's a fake, a complete lie, a false projection. People pretend to "care" because it makes them look good. I mean, who wants to befriend a non-caring person. And if you read this and think "Oh, it's about ME!" that's YOU being a selfish person - "Oh my god, she must be writing about me! Time to run off and have a good cry!"



This is why I'm vanishing to several different foreign countries over the next few years. It's me being slightly selfish - if I can't really please people then I might as well please myself. (This also sounds slightly dirty.) I'm going to R-U-N-N-O-F-T, for those of you who've watched "O Brother, Where Art Thou" lately.

Oh, and it's officially my half-birthday. Whee. No one cares - I'm used to it . . . summer birthdays . . . bleah. I think I'll celebrate by . . . taking a shower tomorrow morning and using extra soap. Party.

Freestyle.

M | 2/11/2004 01:52:00 AM| comment

***

mardi, février 10, 2004

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Sixth Level of Hell - The City of Dis!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	High
Level 2 (Lustful)	Low
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Moderate
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Very High
Level 7 (Violent)	High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Low

Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test

M | 2/10/2004 06:14:00 PM| comment

***
Wow, what a culture-packed day. Woke up bright and early (6:30) to finish my project on South Korea then dashed off to campus to meet up with Matt and actually DO the presentation. During class, a guy came from the University of Sonchunghyang in South Korea and, well, I think I'll be studying abroad two years instead of just one. At this University, for international students, tuition and room and board is free and they actually give you $125 pocket money every week. Plus, the girl who went there said the people are just wonderful and it really got me interested. So I will probably attend Akita for a year or semester and then Sonchunhyang for just one semester. Could be fun.

I had lunch with Maya and she was talking about Japan club elections . . . Heh, Japanese and their pronunciation of the letter "l." I warned her to be very, very careful when saying this word, but didn't feel like telling her what it sounded like. Then when we went to sit in the lower Hyphen, Yoshi came by and was trying to say the word "full" but for some reason could not. So that was quite funny as well.

Then I slept in Art. Yay.

M | 2/10/2004 03:26:00 PM| comment

***
I either have a lot to say right now or almost nothing. Let's see how this flows . . .

Whole weekend was entirely uneventful. Saturday, I hung out with Teresa and Erin in the evening and we watched 2 Fast 2 Furious and ate pizza. The other people there were Greg, Sabina, Rachel, and Rachel's boyfriend Will. The movie was fairly good - better than I would have thought.

Sunday was INTERESTING, because I had almost ZERO human contact. I didn't even see anyone on my way to the bathroom. If it wasn't for Yoshi, IMing me at 11:30, asking for me to help him with stuff, I don't think I would have seen another human being for the entirety of the day. Ain't that crazy?

Yesterday's speech went well. Japanese went okay. I'm hoping the trend doesn't continue and my presentation doesn't suck royally.

Now, for last-minute prep. Go go go!

M | 2/10/2004 07:09:00 AM| comment

***

dimanche, février 08, 2004

I hope someone will inform Emily that I will kill her on sight. She has gotten me addicted to Neopets, thus I have done virtually nothing all day long except for play with my Neopet.

Currently: "studying" Japanese (actually listening to Ayumi Hamasaki)

Kinda bored, but I have Neopets.

Things I must accomplish:
* work on SK report and email Matt . . . (he's probably wondering if I died)
* work on speech
* study Japanese
* do Japanese homework
* study for Art/actually buy the book

Here's an anecdote. I was talking to Heeyeon and she told me about some restrictions about her middle school. They had to have their hair only 3-5 inches below their chins. They were forced to line up every morning and proceed assembly-line style through the door, where if their hair was in question, they would actually be measured. If it was longer, their hair was chopped on the spot. I asked Heeyeon if her hair was ever cut and she said it wasn't. That's just wild.

Well, off to do something on my list.

M | 2/08/2004 12:26:00 AM| comment

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vendredi, février 06, 2004

Oh.

And.

My computer hates me.

M | 2/06/2004 08:48:00 AM| comment

***
Well, hmm. I had quite the day yesterday.

It all began, I suppose, with waking up. I woke up and the day began as normal. Actually, the whole day was normal. I just built it up for everyone expecting something grand.

Classes were exceptionally boring, except for Japanese, which always manages to be fun. Before class, I told everyone that our test was in fact on Tuesday instead of Monday and also that we were supposed to get up to eight inches of snow. Then when Sugiyama-sensee said that our test was on Monday of course everyone looked at me and called me a liar! Plus, we had to get up and do stuff at the board and when I turned around after doing my board work, I looked out the window and saw it was snowing and announced this. When everyone saw that it was indeed snowing, I said, "See? I don't lie about everything!"

Then, after dinner, I went to hang out in Stacy's room, where it was like a festival or something because a lot of people also eventually dropped by. At first, we were being really bored so I went to steal the dominoes from Teresa and me and Stacy were building up these huge towers with them (and I, sadistically enough, yelled out "Let's play World Trade Center!" and made my hand into a plane.) and while this was going on, Yoshi stopped by for English help (to which I replied, "Why should I help YOU?" in a "i'm kidding" voice - yet I don't think he really picks up on my sarcasm at all), then Keith wandered over, Teresa came over, and eventually so did Erin and Kelly. See? A regular soiree, a brouhaha, a box social, a . . . well some other "party" term. I got a million. So after awhile, everyone did wander back to their places of residence and then Stacy and I watched the Sixth Sense, which is very interesting to watch after you've already seen it because you can pick up minute little details. (For instance, did you know that every time something significant happens, there is bright red in the scene?)

But.

Overall a good decent day.

Mildly annoyed with the fact that hardly anyone has questioned my whole "leaving thing" but what can you do? The whole thing did prove a point to myself though, but that's a matter for another day.

Class time.

M | 2/06/2004 08:33:00 AM| comment

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jeudi, février 05, 2004

Oh my god! That girl is driving me nuts! Yoko keeps IMing me in the wee hours of the morning and I miss her! I wake up to my MSN Messenger blinking orange and I think, "Okay, what moron thinks I'll respond at that time?" and it's crazy Yoshiko. She says "Happy Holiday" but what holiday is it? Thursday, February 5 . . . Feb. 5, Feb 5. . . . cannot think of anything. I'll check on this. I did email her though. At her wacky new email add.

Well, it's off I go. Finish getting ready and then class in an hour (for an hour and a half . . . *whimper*)

Maybe Yoko will have replied by later on. Maybe maybe maybe!

M | 2/05/2004 09:48:00 AM| comment

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mercredi, février 04, 2004

I just drank 16.9 ounces of water in about five minutes and now I've got that intense feeling of "oh geez, i should not have done that." But then I'm oh-so-thirsty and water quenches that but then I get that bloatiness and just go "ehhhhhh."

There was really no point to that anecdote, but oh well. No one really cares, do they?

I'm struck lately by how people think everything they do matters to everyone. Suddenly an event happens and they expect EVERYONE to care, but alas. Few do. OR everyone does. However the one that has this same event happen to them every day, every week, or whatever . . . ishardly acknowledged. This wasn't brought on by anything in particular, but just became a gradual thought today.

And I tought Erin the kanji for "to enter." I said it looked like an asscrack and all I had to do was think of homosexual men and I pretty much remember what the kanji looks like.

Now, off to sleep again. I sleep so much, but am always tired . . .

M | 2/04/2004 11:37:00 PM| comment

***
I keep listening to the same song over and over. It's by Ayumi Hamasaki and I think it's called "I Am" but I'm not sure exactly. It's very gorgeous, very slow and mellow - which has been my set mood over the last week. Proof: Something bugged me so much yesterday I was literally going insane inside my head but I didn't do anything.

Goddammit, I keep fidgeting and can't pay attention to anything. So strange.

Plus, I have "Fukai Mori" by DAI in both regular and instrumental/karaoke versions. Might see if I can hook it up to Beth's karaoke machine back home and try it. (I will NEVER do karaoke in front of many people at all. This is an aspect of me everyone should know. Only if I'm one hundred percent comfortable with you will I sing around you; consequently I was only able to sing completely uninhibited around Yoko. This again, is why I suck at singing - lack of confidence. Meh.)

M | 2/04/2004 06:33:00 PM| comment

***

mardi, février 03, 2004

::::massive eye roll::::

M | 2/03/2004 10:10:00 PM| comment

***
Meh, I was so hyper about an hour ago, now I'm really sluggish and depressed for no reason . . . Had a good day though.

I was talking with Maya about American teenage tendencies, such as "unnecessary drama." That was the exact phrase I used and she asked me what I meant and I explained with a bit of a pantomime: "Oh my god! I don't know if he likes me! I can't believe she said that! Oh I'm going to fail all of my classes because my teacher hates me! Ohmygodohmygodohmygod! Wah ha ha ha! (crying)!!" She started laughing hysterically at this, which then got me going and we kept laughing for some time. Then she made it a point to remember the phrase "unnecessary drama" so she could tell her mom this story. She said that she talks to her mom a lot about me - that's cool! Made me feel good, anyway.

Well, it's off to fencing. My prediction? I'll quick re-learn stuff, the guys will underestimate me and I'll overestimate myself so I'll both beat and get beaten. Plus, I'll be exhausted about three quarters of the way through and complain that maybe two hours is too long. I'll come back and be too tired to do my outline for Speech and try to sleep, but just end up eating chocolate. So da ne.

M | 2/03/2004 07:32:00 PM| comment

***
I have been so into Ayumi Hamasaki's music lately - she has this gorgeous voice and just sings with this strange passion you don't find much in American singers. She also has these enormous eyes and is a really gorgeous person. I've also been listening to Utada Hikaru, and have this music video of her and she looks like Hiroko a little bit. I should tell Hiroko this and see what she says. (My prediction? She'll laugh and say that it's because Americans think all Japanese look alike, but Hiroko really does look a bit like Hikaru!)

Listening to: Inu-Yasha Movie Theme (no title) - by Ayumi Hamasaki

Oh crap, going to be late!

M | 2/03/2004 09:59:00 AM| comment

***
I am so retarded. Writer's block stuck me so hard this weekend that I was left without a column for this week. Bah. And because I concentrated so deeply on a passionate column, I completely forgot about a comic . . . I had a great punchline too. Eh.

I shall now relay a short story.

My great aunt and uncle have this funny little hobby of searching for family members on Google. Curiously enough, my name is quite popular. (Try also searching for "delyera.") Well, they found me and traced me to the WSU site, where my articles are.

Well, most of you remember my first article. It talked about not doing homework and encouraging all the students at the college to not do theirs either. Well they found this article.

And they sent it to my grandpa.

My grandpa apparently did not interpret the blatant humor so well because apparently he thought I was not doing any of my studies and also trying to get everyone else to not do theirs. Funny, no?

Lesson? Don't believe everything you read. Get it straight from the person because there can sometimes be a twisted sense of humor behind it all.

M | 2/03/2004 12:21:00 AM| comment

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lundi, février 02, 2004

Well, boy howdy. I guess I can let out my news now.

As of today, all my stuff has gone through and I have gotten a job working for the Strib as an Editorial columnist. It doesn't pay well, but there is advancement easily. This happened about a week ago and I also made the decision to quit school here. No more WSU! Yay! I even talked to Admissions and the proper people in Housing about this and since the semester just began, most of my money will be refunded.

I am packing my things and will be out of here on Friday. Gone forever, guys! Gone! Forever!

The decision to do this came rather easily. I realized that just because you don't have a college education doesn't mean you can't make it in the world. I learned this from many people and have always thought that if I make a failure of myself at college, I have many opportunities in the world.

If you have something you need back from me, you'd better come to get it, as my door will be officially closed on Thursday late so I won't be around to give it back. And to those of you that currently hate me, here is your prize for doing so. I'm out of here, expelled by the hatred of others.

M | 2/02/2004 12:34:00 AM| comment

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dimanche, février 01, 2004

What a long and tiresome day! Just finished with laundry, after hanging out with Teresa and Erin and making sexual innuendo out of just about everything.

My article for Wednesday is nearly non-existant. I have three tries, but my writer's block is just terrible right now. So, as of this minute . . . l'article n'est pas existant . . .

Je ne voudrais pas réparation l'amitié, il ne tient pas aucune valeur pour moi. Elle pense que je blesse, mais elle est tristement confondu . . . J'ai heureusement continuer avec ma vie, sans souci pour elle . . . je déteste ce tout, je pense elle est stupide, je pensent qu'elle est non műre . . .

Meh, what do you expect.

M | 2/01/2004 11:06:00 PM| comment

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Oh, and why are you trying to destroy everything for me? I heard you even went to Teresa, saying "oh, we should hang out more!" and a bunch of crap like that. Are you TRYING to horn in on my friendships so that you can derive some sick pleasure from destroying me? Because, you should know, I'm indestructible. You can't bring me down. Not with your words, not with a glare, not with your actions. You make friends with my new friends, I'll keep on going. You did not have to stoop to the level of attempting to befriend one of my friends in the hopes of getting to me. Because, fuck you. I won't stand for it. Stop trying to "get" to me.

M | 2/01/2004 01:27:00 AM| comment

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